| Love |
[Dec. 13th, 2009|06:03 pm] |
God, I cannot WAIT to see his cute little face again. I'm so glad I only have to wait two more weeks and not two more months. I'm going to kiss him, smother him, rape him (well, let him rape me), and then burn his passport so he can never leave again.
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| I'm 25 |
[Nov. 10th, 2009|05:49 pm] |
I am 25
Benoit's visit has been a dream come true and couldn't be more perfect. Our time in San Francisco, our time traveling down the coast, the fun Halloween, the camping in Big Sur and the coastal mountains, my birthday party.... sigh... we've had so many great memories... it's going to be so hard when he leaves.
We are in Tahoe at Sonya's cabin right now and it is beautiful up here. We did a 4 hour hike around Emerald Bay yesterday (beautiful!), and we did a 6 hour hike around Echo Lake and into the Desolation Wilderness to this tiny lake called Triangle Lake in the middle of NOWHERE. And I am saying it was really in the middle of nowhere. We got lost and couldn't find the trail for a while. But it's ok because we made it safe.
Tomorrow we leave for our crazy road trip/camping trip to Yosemite, Death Valley, Vegas, Grand Canyon, LA and California Coast. We only have about 2 1/2 weeks! Jesus.. it's going to be so much fun though. Our stuff is packed, our gear is ready, and we have hikes planned for every day. Holy leg muscles.
Benoit is shopping for dinner right now (God, I love that boy's cooking) and we are going to have a night in by the fire with good dinner and wine...
If anyone told me, when I was 21, that I would be content with my boy, some nice dinner, and a night in by the fire... let alone actually love that this is what I am doing for my birthday... I would have told them they were crazy.
Maybe the fact that I did my entire year's worth of drinking on Saturday helps with that too.
SO, that's it! I'm 25, and I don't feel so much different. Maybe 2010 and will roll around that feeling of difference :) |
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| Fraser Island to home |
[Oct. 6th, 2009|04:45 pm] |
So, I'm home.
"How does it feel to be home?"
It feels natural, it feels right, everything is flowing better than it was at the end of my Australia trip signifying to me that I made the right decision, and I feel ready and relaxed to be here.
When it was time to come home, I knew it. It wasn't a homesick feeling, a desperate feeling, it was just a "nothing is flowing properly for me here, nothing feels right, and despite my attempts at happiness I feel a little empty for no particular reason inside", type of feeling.
I decided to take a final trip before I came home to Fraser Island. What a riot!
I went alone, needing space from Benoit and him not really asking to come along anyways, and I really enjoyed myself.
I got to the hostel in Hervey Bay, and they grouped us in ten to our vehicles, took us to the workshop where we collected our camping gear, we went shopping for our food, and we were off on the ferry and onto the island!
They did NOT warn us the extreme nature of the four wheel-driving there, but it was still a blast. We drove through the insane paths through the island, on the beaches, and saw some of the most beautiful scenery I have seen in my life..... while being scared shitless of the vehicle tipping or losing traction, and having to dig the car out of sand when it got stuck (which was actually TOO funny!). We saw dingoes, and were actually approached by one at sunset. We saw whales breaching in the ocean from our campsites, rays and marine life from the indian head lookout, all the while enjoying the company of the diverse group we had. It was truly a great last trip for me to take.
After that I spent the day in Brisbane with Benoit before catching my connecting flight to Sydney and coming home. Of course we had a ton of sex, despite the fact that we were both exhausted... he woke up at 5:30 to leave the island and come and meet me, and I had to take a six hour long bus from Hervey Bay to Brisbane that departed at 5am, having me wake up at 4:30am for the fourth day in a row. So, we were tired but took full advantage of eachother's company We hung out, walked around town, went to the casino, went to a nice dinner, talked and talked, had sex and more sex, and went to bed.
My flight home was a surprise to some people, but some were in on it. The best part was surprising Shannon. I had emailed Flori because I thought he could help me surprise her. He was nice enough to take the day off to pick me up, let me come to their house so I could clean up and do laundry and nap (even though I couldn't sleep because I was too excited to see Shannon, awwwwwww), before he got Shannon.
When I was coming home I wondered if I would feel regret, nervousness, awkwardness, etc. It was nothing like that at all. It felt just like I'd taken a weekend trip and came home. Everything's the same, everything's familiar, everyone's happy to see me, and it all feels really good.
Shannon was surprised! It was really awesome.
Shannon and Flori were nice enough to let me stay at their house for a while, until I get myself grounded, employed, and I cannot be thankful enough.
When I left Australia I was hoping to get my cottage back, which my mom wouldn't let me do at the LAST minute. I was hoping I could stay at my ex-bosses house and work for him (something we had discussed), but he had made the last minute decision to sell the house quickly.
So I came home with nothing. I spent all of my Australian money, and had very little money in my American account and no idea where I was going to live.
I cannot express how thankful I am to not have to worry about a roof over my head, and of course I am not going to take it for granted or advantage of it.
I am already applying to jobs, and will spend next week dropping into school districts to enroll into their substitute registries. The only thing that may delay me a little bit is Benoit's visit. If I have to work while he's here, then he is ok with traveling alone and just doing what we can on weekends or whatever. I'm not too stressed about it, I just can't wait for him to get here and to see him, and I have a feeling everything is going to work out fine in that department.
For my future. I am going to do the best I can with my money, with finding work, and I really really really have my heart set on living in Berkeley. I know it's expensive, and I really don't care. I'll work three jobs, gladly, to live out there. I really want to get onto the other side of the tunnel and into that sort of "lifestyle", meet new people, and just live out there. I really want to get experience in various educational settings, aside from subbing, and I want to start thinking long term about grad-school. Any programs I may want to do (social work, educational psychology, etc.) are going to require some experience. So I see myself over the next year trying to build up my experience and working in a few places to get some diversity there.
For now:
I'm up at my parent's house, straightening out my car stuff with the DMV, sorting out some paperwork, and spending time with them. After that I'm going to head home, and keep doing busy work while trying to hang out with everyone and spend time with them. I need to get myself organized at Shannon's place in my "room", and I need to go to the laundry mat to wash all my clothes that were in storage. Katie is having her going away party (she is going to Australia) this coming Saturday. So I'm already a busy girl!!!
I had a great weekend. I spent Friday night with Shannon and Flori, and it was the perfect first night back home. They grilled me some yummy dinner, we had drinks, talked, and went to bed. I missed this kind of time with Shannon so much.
Saturday I hung out with Amanda, we went and surprised my mom with my return, went to dinner with Katie and Andi, got drunk at her house with a bottle of champagne and wore princess tiaras and dressed her dog in funky sweaters. I also really missed this idiotic shit that I always end up doing with Amanda while I was gone.
Sunday we went to Hardly Strictly Bluegrass festival and I got to catch up with my friend Sonya. Fun. Then last night I rode into Chico with Mark, after he arrived home from Long Beach. We got here at about 4am, I crashed on his couch, and came to my dad's this morning.
I guess it hasn't taken me long to get back into busy Heather mode, but honestly I am more happy that way.
This week I'll just be being lazy at my dad's, might hang out in Chico with Mark for a bit, and do some hiking and walking around the lake here. .As well as submitting resume's online and looking for sublets in Berkeley.
I desperately want to get back into shape. Everyone who has seen me has said I am crazy for thinking I gained weight, Katie and Andi said I looked like I lost weight (I thank my flattering sweater), so I obviously created way too much of a complex in my head.
I am still desperate to get fit again. Walking up a set of stairs winds me, lifting anything makes me sore, and I just want to feel good and fit again. I'm definitely going to use my parent's mini gym here, and next week I want to try Shannon's boot camp class!!
Baby steps though, I'm not trying to get all crazy like I was before. Just whatever exercise I can stomach, and hopefully FUN exercise with the boot camp class- it sounds awesome.
Also, I'm going back to veg and anytime I'm eating at Shannon's house will be vegan. I desperately want to feel healthy again. I ate pretty healthy in Australia, but that country does not make it easy. They are way behind on healthy nutrition.
I also can't wait to start planning for Shannon's wedding, going to her baking events, and being an overbearing friend who has missed her way too much and wants to spend way too much time with her. I know you're reading this... how excited are YOU. hahah... no really, I won't suffocate you, promise.
So that's it. Getting my life back on track, everything is flowing ridiculously smoothly for me, wanting to get back into shape, excited for Benoit's visit (I have to admit, up until a couple of days ago I really wasn't- but this time apart has been good, and I feel less stressed about money and living situation, plus Flori seems excited and has said he could do some things with Benoit so I don't have to feel obligated to him the whole time he's here- all of this taking a lot of stress and pressure off of me, making his trip here feel like it will be fun rather than a huge task), thinking about my future, and being really happy to be home.
So I'm going to try to go to sleep now. My sleeping schedule is still a little off. It's 5pm Australian time right now and midnight here, and I'm having a little trouble sleeping. But I'm sure I'll adjust soon enough.
Did I mention I am so lucky to have such great friends and family.
It feels so great to be home :) |
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| We were accepted onto the boat! |
[Jun. 22nd, 2009|05:05 pm] |
So, now we just have to talk to Mallory about us leaving. Hope to God that she receives it well and can be happy for us. Find someone to take over our lease. Then we fly to Darwin around July 11th, and then we sail around Indonesia until Mid-October!!!! This is our schedule of events.
Check out the website as well. www.sailindonesia.com
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| Dear Lord, please get me on one of these boats |
[Jun. 17th, 2009|07:36 pm] |
http://www.sailindonesia.net/home/home.php
I just found out about this today. Because I'm in Port Douglas, and because I have a job and not a lot of money, I can't just take off to Darwin (or you know I'd have been there by tomorrow)... so I emailed a family participating in the rally. They said I may be able to come, but that I had missed some deadlines for the documentation. They said they'd try to pull some strings and bring me along.
Please, oh please God, let me sail Indonesia for 3 months. |
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| Operation Pack House Complete |
[Jan. 22nd, 2009|03:37 pm] |
You guys. I'm going to miss everything so much, even though I'm so excited for what's to come.
I'm going to miss calling Shannon and asking her if they do accounting for people with leaking rectums, and doing the same when I call Amanda but replacing accounting with insuring.
I'm going to miss the damned Germans. I'm going to miss Flori and/or Mario answering the phone and me, without hesitation every single time asking, "Shannon is that you" "Yeah, this is Shannon" "Shannon, it sounds like you had a rough night. You sound manly, and is that a German accent you have?"
I'm going to miss Mario's obsessive picture taking.
I'm going to miss making music with Mark and his nervous pacing all around my apartment and his "Yeah, yeah, ok, so.. alright..so alright" That fucking guy
I'm going to miss my therapy sessions with Malia, and hearing about what things Devon has broken or how he has locked her out of the house and dismantled everything in the house while laughing at her through the windows.
I'm going to miss date nights with Amanda.
I'm going to miss my bartending training sessions with Jeff at Spoontonic on Wednesday nights.
I'm going to miss my sports banter with Dr.Phil, among other things involving Dr.Phil.
I'm going to miss my students, I already miss them so much.
I'm going to miss staying with my sisters at my grandma's house while we take care of her, and collecting stories caused by her dimensia. No Grandma, no one is whispering outside of your window and no, we're not partying in the living room without you. Yes Grandma, you are in your room and now that we've decided that it does need a good painting.
I'm going to miss my mom's voice.
I'm going to miss visits to Oroville and Chico to see my dad and Dottie.
I'm going to miss everything about my crazy and completely functional dysfunctional family.
I'm going to miss texting, joking, I'm going to miss San Francisco and Berkeley like crazy.
I'm going to miss Fish Ranch Road, Dwight Way, Alexander Avenue exit and the Rodeo Beach teeter totter that I fell in love with recently and can't stop visiting now. I'm going to miss the random explorations that have taken place in these cities and the cool places I have found by myself and with others.
I am going to miss a lot of my books that I have been tearing through since I finished school.
I am going to miss Amanda's family.
I am going to miss having my own space, my own place, and this little cottage. When I'm older I'll always remember this as my first place. Not the apartment in Antioch, not the Pleasant Hill House, but my Concord Cottage.
I'm going to miss laying by my wall heater and reading books and my journals.
I'm going to miss the Farmer's Market, walking down the street to the bank, to coffee, to BART, to sushi, and around the corner to anywhere else. I am actually really going to miss downtown Concord a lot.
I'm going to miss the people that appreciate me, that care about me, and have shown me so. I'm going to miss the absolute love, affection, appreciation, gratitude, happiness, caring, and celebration that has encompassed me over the last months. Seriously, I have the best people in my life.
I am going to miss life lessons about people, discovering who matters and who doesn't, discovering myself, making mistakes and coming back, putting faith in people and getting great results, putting faith in people and getting disappointed. Although, I am sure I will still learn all this while I'm gone.
I'm going to miss all the meaningful relationships that I have cultivated and grown and focused on. I'm going to miss the few and far between that I have spent my time with and that have spent their time with me.
I am the luckiest girl ever. Seriously. |
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| Holy Jesus |
[Jan. 7th, 2009|11:00 am] |
I know I shouldn't be doing a countdown, but I have to.
You guys...
I AM LEAVING IN 18 DAYS! AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND Oh.. my.. god.
Did you guys see the website for the place I'm staying once I leave Brisbane (www.beaches.com.au)
I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO.
This weekend I have to spend time with Germans, friends, and do last minute shopping.
Next week I have to work all my jobs, pack, find a storage space, and we are moving all of my stuff out next Sunday (it's the only time my mom and Gary could do it). This means I will only have my couch, my fridge, and my lap top for my last week of being at home. Everything else is going to storage!
My final week is just finalizing everything and saying my goodbyes.
I can't believe it is coming up so soon. I can't believe I'm going to be traversing foreign countries, camping on beaches, surfing, exploring, then snowboarding eventually, thousands of miles away from home.
Man. I'm really doing it. I'm really fucking doing it. And everything is working out beautifully.
How did I get so lucky?
I'm going to miss you girls so much. I love you. |
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